I won’t lie if I say I have less than 10 friends now with whom I truly connect. There was a time when I used to spend a considerable amount of time on social media sites like Orkut and later on Facebook where I had hundreds of friends. However, now it is not like that anymore.
The thing is, for the past 3 years, I have started focusing on myself more. And the fact that when you start improving yourself, you learn more about yourself and you learn more about the company you keep. You gain a whole new perspective on this, which ultimately results in outgrowing your friends.
When you start working on yourself, you will find it difficult to get people to move along with you. It is said that “you become what company you keep”, and I couldn’t agree more. It is important for you to know about your friends, as in the long run, it will help you.
I have broadly categorised them into 5 based on my personal experience.
The Competitive Ones
For me, friendship is all about camaraderie, bonding, and helping each other out. I am a great believer in a friendly competition among friends, where the sole intention is to push each other to do better and learn from each other. But then, some people do take these things so seriously that they will start ignoring you when they lose and teasing you when they win. They are the ones who secretly hate you.
I had such friends in college whom I was so happy to lose. I mean, getting scores in a college exam for securing a good job is fine, but in life, comparing everything in life, that’s not healthy.
The Always-In-Need Ones
You might have come across such friends who will come to you when they are in need. They won’t even answer the phone once they’ve finished with you, and they will ignore you when you need them. They take the “a friend in need is a friend indeed” quote too seriously but one-sided.
I have lent money to people whom I thought I was tight with. Years later, I realised that asking for money from them was a waste of time and a loss of self-respect for me. These people ensure that you don’t trust anyone who is actually in need.
The Close-Minded Ones
The most common advice a successful person will tell you is to try out new things to gain a new perspective. However, there is always one person in your gang who will prevent you from having new experiences. They will not come with you for any trip. They will not support you even if you are going alone.
These situations literally make us feel so distant from such people, as they change the vibe of the group.
The Self-Absorbed Arrogant Ones
If you are like me, then you will definitely hate people who make everything about them. It might be slightly unfair to label them as having a narcissistic personality disorder, but heck, they often believe that they have high self-esteem and they also believe they are superior or special compared to other people.
Such people always believe they are doing the right thing regardless of the consequences of their deeds until someone like me dares to point them out when they are wrong. Such people do really give you a tough time.
The Back-Stabbing Ones
They are the worst of them all. They are a bunch who simply can’t keep secrets. They will talk about you to others behind your back and vice-versa. They always have a story to tell. And when the opportunity arrives, they will not think twice about becoming the Brutus in your Julius Caesar life.
The best part about such people is that you will soon come to know about them through them. I had one friend whom I trusted a lot and had shared some vulnerable moments (happened at my office) but he used that as an opportunity for gossip. My vulnerabilities were a mere discussion topic for him.
From what I have figured out, choosing your friends matters a lot. Having a handful of friends who are loyal, reliable, and honest is a million times better than having thousands of friends on social media.
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