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Depression doesn’t announce itself.
It creeps in slowly, weaving into the fabric of your everyday life until it feels like a part of who you’ve always been.
I noticed this pattern with my friend, Harry (name changed). For months, he showed up to our weekly meetups, laughed at the right times, and asked about my life.
But something was off. His eyes looked empty when he thought no one was watching. When I finally asked if he was okay, he seemed surprised by the question. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just tired.”
It took another six months before he admitted he couldn’t remember the last time he felt truly happy. And then I realized I have been there and felt the same.
Depression Hides in Plain Sight
Most of us function even when depressed:
- We drag ourselves to work despite feeling exhausted
- We smile when we need to
- We handle responsibilities
- We show up for others
I remember going through a period where I showered, dressed nicely, and met deadlines at work.
From the outside, everything looked fine. Inside, I felt hollow. The things I once enjoyed — hiking, cooking, meeting friends — became items on my Todoist app I forced myself to complete.
One of my coworkers maintained perfect attendance for a year while battling severe depression. She made presentations, contributed to meetings, and even organized the office holiday party.
No one knew she would arrive home and collapse on her couch, unable to do anything else for the evening.
“I used all my energy at work,” she told me later. “I had nothing left for myself.”
This is what makes depression so insidious. It doesn’t always prevent you from functioning — it just empties the meaning from everything you do.
Family Misunderstandings
Our families often misinterpret depression.
“My mom kept telling me to exercise more,” my colleague shared. “She meant well, but running didn’t fix the emptiness.”
Another friend heard, “What do you have to be sad about? Your life is good!” from her father when she finally opened up.
My uncle told my cousin to “man up” when he tried explaining his feelings. My aunt suggested “thinking positive thoughts” to her daughter, who couldn’t get out of bed.
These reactions come from love but miss the mark. Depression isn’t just sadness; it’s like living with muted senses and constant exhaustion. It’s not easy.
I’ve seen entire family gatherings where someone is clearly suffering, yet everyone pretends not to notice because acknowledging mental health feels too uncomfortable.
Or worse, they notice but attribute it to a character flaw: laziness, selfishness, or attention-seeking behavior. I have been there myself. Trust me, I know how that feels like.
The stigma remains powerful. In India, depression is still viewed as weakness or moral failing.
In others, it’s dismissed as a luxury problem for people with too much time to think. And in some families, mental health issues are simply never discussed, as if silence could make them disappear.
The Slow Erosion
Depression doesn’t take everything at once. It steals your life in small pieces.
First, you stop enjoying music. Then you stop listening altogether. Next, phone calls feel overwhelming. Then texts do too. Eventually, even your thoughts feel dull and distant.
One of my previous flatmates stopped playing guitar, something he’d loved since childhood. When asked why, he shrugged, “I just don’t feel like it anymore.” A year later, he sold his guitar.
These losses accumulate slowly.
Depression doesn’t announce itself by stealing everything you love at once. It takes things so gradually that you barely notice until, one day, you realize you’ve been living a half-life for longer than you can remember.
The Physical Symptoms
Depression lives in the body as much as the mind. People don’t realize it can cause:
- Chronic pain and headaches
- Digestive problems
- Sleep disturbances
- Weight changes
- Slowed movements and speech
- Constant fatigue no amount of rest seems to fix
For years, I blamed my constant back pain on my office chair. My friend attributed her stomach issues to food allergies. My cousin thought his insomnia was from too much screen time.
None of us connected these physical symptoms to depression until other signs became too obvious to ignore.
Closing Thoughts
Depression lies. It whispers that nothing will improve, that this heaviness is your new normal.
But I’ve seen too many people recover to believe this. The coworker who stopped coming to lunch now organizes office events. My friend, who slept sixteen hours a day, is now working four hours and has six-pack abs.
Recovery isn’t always linear.
Depression isn’t your identity.
It’s a condition like a broken leg or diabetes that needs proper care.
Sometimes that means therapy, sometimes medication, sometimes lifestyle changes, and often a combination of approaches.
The first step is seeing it clearly. Not as a character flaw or a normal part of life, but as something that’s happened to you and can be addressed.
If this sounds familiar, talk to someone: a doctor, therapist, or trusted friend.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. And despite what depression tells you, things can get better. I’ve seen it happen too many times to doubt it.
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